The Time I Was Certain I Had a New Friend Named Toxocariasis -OR- Why I Don't Watch Animal Planet Anymore.

There's nothing like coming home from a long day's work, ready to turn on your TV and watch a DVR'd episode of your favorite show, So You Think You Can Dance.

Unless, that is, you accidentally recorded the wrong channel and something like this comes up on your screen.

"The Monster Inside Me"???? Why would Animal Plant even make a show about nasty parasites??? Who wants to watch that crap??? OMG, it's so gross!!!! WHY CAN'T I STOP WATCHING! CHANGE THE CHANNEL, KATE! Just do it! You don't want to see this; you know how stuff like this bugs you!!!

No matter what I did, I couldn't change the channel though. I just sat there, starring at Tommy Toxocariasis and starting to feel itchy.

Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itch.

ITCHITCHITCHITCHGETOUTOFMEITCHITCHITCHITCHLEAVEMEALONEITCHITCHITCH!

For a brief moment, something dawned on me.

ITCHITCHITCHITCHDOYOUKNOWWHEREICANGETAMEXICANDIETTAPEWORMITCHITCHITCH

IHEARTHOSEMAKEYOULOSELIKEATONOFWEIGHTITCHITCHITCHITCHITCHITCHITCHITCH