Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Domestic Goddess

After another afternoon on the couch watching an 'Intervention' marathon on A&E with my cats, I sat thinking to myself about the state of my current love life. I looked down at my baggy sweatshirt, pushed back a stringy lock of hair and heard the crackle of candy bar wrappers crunching under the sofa cushions I'd last stuffed them between.

There must be a better way than this... Think, Kate. Think. There must be a positive role model out there for you. You know, a gal who had it all... the husband, the house, the kids, the friends, the admiration...

Suddenly, it hit me! Of course! June! June Cleaver was everything I needed to become if I ever hoped to spend a night not talking to my cats and killing off that second bottle of merlot.

I used this time to examine exactly what it was that made Junie so special.

1.) Cooking! OF COURSE! The way to a man's heart, right? Okay. Cooking. I can do this.

2.) Cooking with actual cooking utensils! GENIUS!

3.) A cute apron. I can totally rock that look.

4.) Her rolled up sleeves let you know she means business in the kitchen.

5.) She loves her pearl necklace... hee... hee... that's what she said.

6.) Scary clown cooking utensil???

7.) Perfect hair and makeup. She can saute and seduce at the same time. That tricky little fox.

I knew what I had to do! Learn to cook! Develop some man-marketable domestic skills!
I ran out to the nearest Bed Bath & Beyond and then headed out to the Hen House. I collected my new supplies: fashionably domestic apron, baking goods, utensils, book of recipes, Martha Steward Living Magazine... I even bought a fancy-schmancy new mixer, which cost me almost $200 bones.

Tying on my new apron, I was all hardcore and ready to get started.

36 minutes later...

Maybe I should try something more simple with less directions like dusting. :(
Addendum: I thought you might like to see the pictures of what really went down that night... Look how exhausted and sad I look. See? Not only do these pictures help paint a real-life picture of what inspired this blog but it also proves that ev-er-y-thing that I post is obviously 100% true and completely accurate. Even the zombie stuff.


  1. that looks like a solid first-effort. I like your emphasis on the clown-utensils.

  2. You can still have the boys love your muffins. It just wouldn't be of the pastry variety.

  3. please please please tell me you didn't really spend 200 dollars on a mixer. Please. Wait....ok i spent 122 dollars on shampoo last night because beauty brands was having a sale, so i guess i can't throw stones. who really needs 9 liters of shampoo and conditioner? If their is a soap famine this year, i'm on it.

  4. i would also like to retract the "their" in my last comment and add a "there". Da*n you, OCD grammar correction.