Thursday, July 29, 2010

Drunken Pet Selection: FAIL

On my 21st birthday, my best friend Allie helped me celebrate. Well, by 'celebrate' I mean she followed me through the streets of our college town and made sure I didn't get arrested.


By the time she convinced me to go home, I certainly wasn't ready to call it a night... I mean, it was only like 1 pm in the afternoon...

So I convinced her to let me hang out in our backyard for the afternoon and continue celebrating the big 2-1. While I wondered aimlessly around the perimeter of our fenced in back yard and Allie watched from the patio to make sure I didn't escape, I stumbled upon a little furry creature's tail sticking out of a discarded doughnut bag on the ground.
I was... amazed...
Suddenly, I had a fantastic idea!




I tenderly picked up the little squirrel... never did it cross my vodka-soaked little mind that it was odd a wild squirrel was letting me pick it up. I was mother-fecking SNOW WHITE, BITCHES!

This is the squirrel I remember.
This is the actual (flea-bitten, smelly, sick little) squirrel that Allie remembers.
I may not have the clearest memory of that afternoon but I do know one thing for sure... that little rabid squirrel and I.. our spirits bonded.


2 comments:

  1. Sad that the photographic evidence of that rabid doughnut covered squirrel has disappeared.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What happened next?? Did he live in your house and eat your nuts?

    ReplyDelete